I have a story to tell. A story about a chain of events in my life that sparked an 8 year ordeal. A story that I wish I would have found on the internet when I searched for something like it 13 years ago. The story is long, but for someone who might appreciate it, someone who may be going through something similar, I think it’s worth writing. Because it is long, I’m writing it in multiple posts. If you want to know if this story might interest you, I’ll summarize it:
- I was a stellar employee
- I was sexually harassed by a man at work
- I complained about it
- I was fired
- I sued the company
- After 8 years, I accepted a settlement offer
In 1996, I was working for a very large construction company in California. My title was Insurance Coordinator, but my job involved far more than the title implies. While I managed all insurance policies and administration of those policies for this company (including health, dental, life, disability, liability and worker’s compensation), I also managed the company safety program, MBE/DBE (minority and disadvantaged business enterprises) subcontractor solicitation for bidding on state and federal contracts, ordering supplies, stocking supplies, negotiating with vendors for pricing on supplies and services under my control, closely managing worker’s comp cases (in constant contact with employee and medical facility until claim was closed), providing support and assistance to owners (the 6 men who shared ownership), coordinating with job sites to make sure all safety and insurance related matters were handled, serving as a secretary to the Director of Safety (autonomously doing his job, writing his letters, preparing his presentations – using my mind, not his), and much, much more. The point being, I did a lot, and I did it well.
I loved my job. As a young woman in my 20’s who had dropped out of college and spent her career in adm
inistrative roles, this position offered me the independence and diversity of activity I sought. I was thorough, hard-working and always going the extra mile. When I saw opportunities for improvement, I jumped on them. I created forms, form letters, processes, procedures, databases, spreadsheets and reports in/for a variety of departments to increase efficiency. I assisted co-workers, offering ideas for them to do the same in their sphere of influence, actually creating the same tools for them and teaching them how to use them. I brought my laptop in to work as the computer supplied to me was antiquated and of no value to me in incorporating these tools to improve operations. I enlisted an engineer to help me create a complicated spreadsheet (with formulas far too complex for me to write) that turned out to be one of the most valuable contributions I made. I got along well with everyone, and everything I did there seemed to consistently impress both co-workers, upper management and the owners. This was the best job I’d ever had up until that point in my life – a perfect pairing of my skills with their needs. The job kept me engaged and interested. It afforded me the opportunity to capitalize on my mind in many ways while providing valuable support to the organization.
My work didn’t go unnoticed. On December 20, 1996, my boss (Jeff) scheduled a meeting with me to inform me that the company saw me as a great asset and wanted to tap the potential they recognized. (I was so excited!!!) He asked if I would be interested in learning the job of a higher ranking employee, serving as her backup, also asking me what other areas of the office operations interested me to see if I could get involved in multiple projects. It was an exciting time in my young career.
Then came Christmas. The week of Christmas was a slow time. Many were on vacation, and the construction jobs were winding down over the holidays. A couple of days before Christmas, on his way out for the holidays, Mike (the Safety Director for whom I provided the most support) gave me a gift basket and Christmas card that read:
“Thank you for all of your hard work.”
This gift and card were hugely significant. You have to know Mike. He was not an expressive man. Actually, that tells you nothing. The truth is, he was pretty much an asshole. Unfriendly, aloof and insecure, Mike was a sycophant – a puppet controlled by the owners – and not so discreetly harboring self-loathing. He had a low affect, was arrogant without merit and very degrading to women. Only when engaging with the owners did he act animated. He held multiple titles (including that of Safety Director), but his real position was a secret. He did things for the owners that none of us knew, but we all understood it wasn’t something to discuss. This arrangement puffed up his ego to the point that he looked down on and belittled all employees beneath his “status,” especially the female employees. Given this profile, I’m pretty sure it pained Mike to express appreciation for the work I did for him. Everything I did in his name reminded him of how unqualified he was to hold the titles he held. I was doing his job better than him. I was doing his job better than he could. I think that’s what made him so awkward in showing gratitude – acknowledging this in any way. Never mind the fact that I sought no credit for it. I made him look good. Really good. And I took pride in doing so. On the rare occasions he seemed inclined to express gratitude, he did so by trying to be somewhat friendly (in other words, trying to not be an asshole). I understood. I knew I made him feel even more insecure than he was before I came to work there. The thing is, I truly just wanted to do good work because it made me feel good. I enjoyed (and still do enjoy) using whatever skills, talents or abilities I have to make others shine. It’s personally rewarding for me. The more he seemed to observe this, the more he seemed compelled to show gratitude – in his ways. The expression of that appreciation culminated in this Christmas gesture – the gift and card he gave me. For Mike to write to a woman (ANY woman, including his girlfriend) that he was thankful for anything they had done was a milestone.
This milestone is amplified by the fact that in his 10+ years with the company, Mike had never given a Christmas card or gift to any of “the girls” before. (That’s what we were called by all the men there – “the girls” – all the female employees in the office. The lower class citizens. The buffet from which the owners of the company selected for their extra-marital consumption.) My good friend, Patty, (the lady who had held my job for the 8 years prior to my arrival, whose promotion opened up this position for me) was dumbfounded when I told her Mike had given me a present and card. She had to see it to believe it. When I showed her, she expressed not only disbelief, but envy. She had been serving as his secretary for 8 years, and he never once gave her as much as a thank you, much less a gift or card. The truth is, I was shocked too. He never gave me any indication he would do something so thoughtful, so openly expressive of appreciation for what I did. But he did! And that gesture of acknowledging me meant a lot to me.
Days after the thrill of this surprise, I found myself alone in my office with just a skeleton crew of office staff in the building. Mike had left for the holidays.; Jeff had left for the holidays; only a couple of owners were around, in and out. On that Christmas Eve, it was just me, an owner, a couple of engineers, and the majority of “the girls” working. December 24, 1996 was the day my world turned upside down.
…to be continued…
Photo credits: byGin, theretirementsolution.com,
